Castillo d'Amore: A McCastle in Spring Grove, Illinois

Once upon a time, Lord and Lady Dittmer had a dream — to build a Castle of Love — and they did. The result is Castillo d'Amore, a 3,712-square-foot, four-bedroom, five-bath custom home on 2.73 acres in Spring Grove, Illinois, with a fake stone exterior, mismatched stone lions at the door, Corinthian columns inside, turrets, arches, a leaning garden fountain, and a name that is, per Reddit, either Spanish, Italian, or both — as mixed up as the rooflines and the crenellations. The listing invites you to become royalty. Reddit invites you to consider the accent.

Ready to Become Royalty? Come On In!

The listing sets the scene enthusiastically: a private gated entrance, a grand circular driveway, a six-foot bronze fountain, grape arbors, and a custom front door that is just the beginning of the quality craftsmanship within. Inside, gleaming slate, Brazilian cherry and walnut hardwood floors, Corinthian columns, turrets, and arches entice you. Let's discover the rest together. The exterior reads, per Reddit, as essentially a modern home with a fake stone veneer — the kind you can immediately tell is fake — paired with an asphalt shingle hipped roof that takes away from the vibe. It gives medieval themed amusement park facade, one commenter noted. Another, more generously, said the little nook with the Gothic arch window is genuinely cute and they would put a lounger in there with a reading lamp and a cat. The mismatched and misaligned stone lions at the front door derailed at least one commenter entirely. The leaning garden fountain in the last listing photo bothered another.

Which Accent, Exactly?

The listing's title framing — that moving in would inspire a British accent — launched a debate Reddit has not fully resolved. Italian was proposed as more warranted given the name Castillo d'Amore, though Castillo is Spanish and d'Amore is Italian, making the whole thing as architecturally coherent as the roofline. New Jersey was nominated as most fitting and received 158 upvotes. Scottish Baronial was identified as the likely stylistic influence given the witches hat roofs. One commenter's British accent usually ends up sounding Italian anyway, which they considered perfect. The home was built, Reddit theorized, by two 19-year-olds who won the lottery — because real adults simply would not build a castle and name it "castle of love" without irony. A rebuttal arrived: you should meet more rich adults. You'd be amazed at the complete lack of taste. At $899,900 in Spring Grove, Illinois, Reddit's consensus is that they've seen a lot worse.

The Internet Has Thoughts

Naturally, this listing caught the attention of Reddit's r/zillowgonewild community. See what people are saying about it here.

Lord and Lady Dittmer's Castle of Love — mismatched lions, a leaning fountain, Corinthian columns, and a Gothic arch nook Reddit would genuinely use. View the full listing here.