A "Tastefully Subtle" St. Louis Loft With a Bar, a Billiards Room, and a Whole Lot of Taxidermy

The listing calls it "tastefully subtle." The 10,691 square feet, five elevator-served levels, and taxidermied gazelle staring down from the wall might disagree. Asking $800,000 for what used to be a furniture showroom, this downtown St. Louis property is technically a two-bedroom — which is a strange thing to say about a building with its own billiards room, penthouse, and movie area.

Welcome to the Cosmopolitan

Step through the gilded storefront — still marked "Cosmopolitan" from a previous life as a restaurant — and into a ground floor that reads less like real estate and more like a fever dream with a liquor license. Hand-painted ceiling murals stretch overhead, wrought-iron railings frame a stone walkway, and a small herd's worth of mounted animal heads keeps watch from the walls. There's a bar and a half-bath tucked into the lounge, because apparently regular bathrooms weren't going to cut it here.

Five Floors, One Elevator, Zero Explanations

The lower level holds a billiards room and laundry. The mezzanine has office and conference space with its own full bath. Level two is an office/showroom, level three is a loft with a kitchen and sleeping area, and level four is open enough for a storage room or art studio. Then there's the penthouse: fireplace, kitchen, and a movie area, all reachable via the elevator the Reddit thread has already nicknamed the building's real selling point.

The Internet Has Thoughts

Naturally, this listing caught the attention of Reddit's r/zillowgonewild community. See what people are saying about it here.

Five floors, one very committed elevator, and enough taxidermy to open a natural history museum wing. View the full listing here.