Boat Life — All Hands On Deck

It's a boat life. There is nothing better than relaxing sea sounds and roaming freely. As you drift from the dock, you will feel a sense of release. Separation is not just physical in the sense of no longer being attached to the land, but it is also a release of tensions and worries from everyday life. As if by magic, the waters, the skies, and the wind become your focus. It doesn't matter if you stay aboard for a few hours, a weekend, or longer, the escape is real. Boat life, however, can be challenging. We've gathered epic boating wins to bonehead bloopers, all in one place.

Stalked

A marine biologist hoping to stealthily track a great white shark backfired.

He used a yellow plastic kayak to be as unobtrusive as possible. A giant fint caught his attention, and he realized he was being stalked! He probably sticks to clownfish and corals now.

Never Stop Dreaming

Speed boats are meant for high speeds, but not for flying.

Ah those were the days. Brings back great memories. Makes you wonder how fast they were going to get that much air. Wonder how the landing went?

You Sure?

It's true; most people get a boat so they can take a mini-vacation onto the open water.

You're not supposed to have worries while you're relaxing on a boat! The irony here. Too bad this boat actually became a huge worry.

Brazen Raccoon

Wild raccoon steals woman's lunch right out from under her nose.

While on holiday in Weeki Wachee Springs, Florida, a very "curious" raccoon almost got her lunch when it went straight for her pack containing it and almost made off with it.

The Life of a Moth

Over 3,500 people voted on Facebook for the world's best yacht racing photograph.

Thierry Martinez captured the winning picture of Nathan Outridge racing at the Moth world championships in Belmont, Australia.

Same Expression

It appears that both parties are equally surprised to see each other.

The seal took an opportunity and swam with it. In this perfectly timed photo, the seal and boat goer have the same expression of shock after meeting one another.

Tiny Tug

A genius man uses a tiny tugboat to cruise down the river in style.

Mick Carroll, a UK resident, came upon a man on a given Monday gliding down the local canal on a homemade boat pulled by a tiny tugboat. He is a marvel of human creativity and an inspiring sight to behold.

Hang On

When it comes to "cleaning your bottom", that's going a little too far.

Hang on we're coming! Imagine your cause of death being a boating wedgie accident. Your friends will haunt you for this mishap for the rest of your days. 

The Eyes That Match

There is a new color that you have discovered to be your favorite, and it's blue. 

The most beautiful piercing blue eyes that just dazzle. Sure, she has other assets, but it's the eyes for us. What a great day to be on the lake.

Boat Ramp Claims Another

At the boat ramp, things went very badly for these captains.

I wonder if any of them thought about using some rope or a winch to get their boats out of the water or at least closer to the ramp before launching their trucks into the sea?

Not So Sexy

You start a photoshoot you might as well finish it while it's sinking.

There are a lot of questions I have here. Who is taking the photo? What makes them so unconcerned? "Everythings ok, let me just get this picture for Instagram real quick."

Drug Sub

Mexico's navy seized a homemade submarine carrying a drug shipment off the Pacific coast.

About 200 miles off the southern state, the 30-foot makeshift submarine was detected heading north. When the green-topped, arrowhead-shaped vessel surfaced hours later, it was intercepted and its crew was taken into custody without resistance.

Tugski

On Lake Monroe, DNR officers are ticketing a man in a small hybrid tug boat.

The boat owner is Kentucky native Nick Riley, who approached DNR to show them his boat was legal. He was not ticketed for the incident.

Helpless

As her yacht slowly sank, she watched helplessly as she could not do anything about it.

Keep your wandering eyes on the sinking boat. That's the tradegy here. Nothing else to see.

Titanic Meets The Birds

This is what happens when Titanic meets The Birds.

There are two lovers soaring off the front of a boat, believing they are Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, when a seagull flies straight into them, head butting the woman in the nose. We find it funny, but she probably didn't.

Hang On!

There were six boats that started the race that day, but none finished.

The beach resembled Darwin after Cyclone Tracey, when what remained of the six boats washed ashore. In one case, the bow of one boat dug into the shallow sandbank, causing it to roll over 180 degrees stem to stern.

Didn't Clear It

The stereotype of speedboat drivers really stays true with this photo.

He thought he could clear this little yacht. I'm afraid not! The only thing he was lucky about was that he didn't hurt anyone in the process.

Deuces

She's getting in her vitamin D intake after setting her fishing line.

Our body produces most of its own vitamin D through our skin. Vitamin D3 is formed when ultraviolet rays from sunlight are absorbed. It is obvious that she understands the importance of this health practice.

Near Miss

Tourist in astonishing near-miss in the Bahamas as a jet ski hurtles towards her.

A tourist posing for a photo narrowly avoided being killed when a jet ski hurtled towards her. Instinct or luck, the young woman looked up just in time to see another jet ski zip toward her as its riders lost control.

High Seas

Trying to drink a beer on the high seas outside of Louisiana.

It's not an easy task chugging a beer on high seas in a speed boat. Two to four outboards power most high-performance center consoles. Speeds range from 60 to 85 mph.

Flaunts Her Curves

Bianca Gascoigne flaunts her curves in an orange sequin bikini in Mexico ahead of her Celebrity Big Brother debut.

During a vacation in Mexico ahead of her alleged appearance on Celebrity Big Brother, Bianca Gascoigne enjoyed the last days of winter sun.

No Way I'm Sinking Now

Make sure you have a life jacket on board for every passenger plus one.

You need to be safe, and life preservers are crucial, especially after treading water for a few hours. For a simple boating day, this seems excessive.

Hanging Around

I would assume that alcohol played a role in the current situation.

At what point does hanging like a bat from the boat sound like a good idea? I promise that nothing good can conclude from this situation.

Boat Wheelie

Have you ever seen a boat wheelie? Us neither — here ya go.

Wheelies are usually associated with bicycles and motorcycles, but can be done with other vehicles such as cars. However, this guy went all the way by pulling out the best wheelie ever!

What A View

Couple great views here but WOW look at that coastline.

Boat life is the best life. How relaxing does this photo look? I'm depressed and super jealous at just the sight of this photo.

Down With The Ship

The expression of devastation that this man is expressing is heartbreaking to see.

"The captain goes down with the ship" is a maritime tradition that a sea captain holds ultimate responsibility for both their ship and everyone embarked on it. 

Seal Surprise

As long as it was part of the picture, this seal did not seem afraid.

Whatever the reason, the seal appears happy and content. If you give them a chance, sea animals can be friendly. This cute picture by the sea shows that there is no need to be scared.

Balancing Act

It is important to maintain the boat's balance at all times.

By doing so, you will avoid issues such as these that may force you to swim to safety. However, these guys don't seem to care one bit.

Crabs, Anyone?

The process of catching crabs is not as easy as this girl makes it seem.

Don't be fooled by this picture, catching crabs is not always fun. It is a technical process that requires the right tools and techniques. There's a good chance this woman didn't catch the crab, just posed with it using a pincer.

Fear of Fish

A Staten Island man freaks out when he holds a fish in his hand.

Despite being terrified of fish, this city boy attempted to "scale" his fear. On a fishing trip in Naples, Florida, Jake Botch, from Staten Island, New York, screams after holding a common snook.

Look Mom No Hands

Driving with no hands is frowned upon, especially operating a boat.

Judging by the size of the waves, she has this boat cruising pretty fast. Showing off for the camera by letting go of the wheel is not recommended.

Boat Ejections

Departing your boat suddenly and unexpectedly is more common than most boaters realize.

It is the surprise factor that unites all boater extractions. In one second, you're riding in a boat, and the next, you're skipping along on the surface of the water.

Sea Lions Steal

But they're going to need a bigger boat.

While the creatures are on the vessel, it stays above water even though it appears to be sinking. There is no indication of when the ship eventually sinks. Eld Inlet now has it at its bottom.

Sailing & Yoga

Yoga is relaxing. Yoga on a sailboat is even more relaxing.

Yoga on a boat is not easy! Due to the boat's movements, certain postures sometimes caused new aches and pains. Not sure the same of this hanging pose, but it's cool to stare at.

Got Engines?

At what point does it become overkill on the number of engines?

This boat is called the Midnight Express. In order to build your dream boat, Midnight Express uses the most advanced construction techniques and the latest technology.

Redneck Fishing

Hillbilly engineering at its finest — a custom bass fishing boat.

With a state motto like "We dare defend our rights," no wonder people do whatever they want. For example, this guy makes a fishing boat out of wood blocks and a lawn chair.

Perfect Sunset

The best way to end a day is with a sunset cruise.

Mediterranean sunsets are unbeatable. Against the gorgeous Italian countryside, you can see the girl's charming smile.

Incoming Disaster

Is there any doubt in your mind that he did not make it?

There is no way that this guy could have stretched that much with such a heavy cooler and not land in the water. Oh, and the boat was actively drifting away.

Left or Right?

Would you like to play for the left or right team?

Beautiful day. Beautiful girls. What more could you ask for? Boat life is the only life.

Face Plant

You're going to leave a lasting impression with that.

What’s better than spending your holidays in a place where relaxation and entertainment are guaranteed? Just don't land on your face experimenting with jet ski tricks.

Catch of the Day

Finishing dates are always fun, if you don't get seasick and like the ocean.

He was very proud of his fish after catching the big one! Having to choose between the fish and his wife for dinner, he couldn't decide which one to cook for dinner and which one to share it with.

Sour Puss

Their drink probably has a bitter kick, which explains their weird expressions.

That's enough about the drinks and expressions. How amazing does the mountain scenery look in the background? Where are they and how do I get there?

The Carbon Cat

Castlerock Carbon Cat marks a new era in rigid bottom inflatable boats.

"My goal was to design and build a high speed, stable and visually appealing RIB," said Dan Oatley. This is mainly due to the hydrodynamic and aerodynamic features that I have been able to incorporate into the design, along with the benefits of carbon fibre.

Marketing Ploy

What can we do to emphasize the luxury and appeal of the boat?

Add a woman barely sitting on the seat and holding the steering wheel awkwardly while looking gormlessly out the window.

It's Marshall

You have small kids? You watch Paw Patrol? Here's Marshall in real life.

Hopefully Rocky will not fall into the water because Marshall crashed into him. Water does not appeal to him at all.

Peace!

Leaving land behind with a full cooler and no ***** given.

She's been appointed captain while her boatmates set fishing lines. She seems more concerned with the cute photo than steering the boat.

He Didn’t Make Off Too Badly

There is no fun in divorce, especially when it comes to dividing assets.

He still has a boat, in spite of the fact that he lost his house.

Seal Strikes Again

This seal is back to his old bag of tricks once again.

She's taking the experience a little better than I would. He's a little too close for comfort. Look at those teeth. He can do some damage.

Water Wipeout

When you are playing on the water the best moments are the wipeouts.

If you've ever been lucky enough to experience tubing, you know how much fun this is. Despite wiping out and losing your pants it's a fantastic experience.

My Happy Place

A boat's name can honor a hero, a monarch, a loved one, a city, or simply express a sense of humor.

This summarizes boat life is the best life perfectly. Iced cold brew with your best friend as the sun beats down on your pale body.

New Captain

A new captain has taken over the helm of the ship.

She's a 5'9 blonde with a sculpted body and a beautiful smile. Who cares she doesn't have a boating license. Are you complaining?

How Not To Launch

People who have grown up boating seem to think that towing and launching a boat is simple.

Getting a boat off the trailer and onto the water can be very stressful if you don't have that experience. This is the wrong way to launch a boat.

Boating Blondes

The boat life seems to be something blondes enjoy a lot.

I'm running out of creative things to say about a blonde posing on a yacht. Just take it all in and move on to the next slide.

Welcome Aboard

A day spent boating and a dog's love are among the greatest things in the world.

Combining the two can be an enjoyable experience for both of you. Bring your pup along for a multi-night cruise with a little preparation and some handy accessories.

Tan, Tanner, Tannest

Don't forget to put on your sunscreen before you leave the dock.

Here are three young ladies who all applied different amounts of sunscreen. Displayed are the three tan variations. Tan, tanner, tannest.

Bella The Bulldog

At Pier 32 Marina in National City, Bella lives on a 33-foot Hans Christian named Baanyen.

During quarantine, they named their 14 foot Boston whaler "Bella's Ride" after her. She loved dinghy rides.

Croc Surprise

An incredible photo snapped during a holiday nearly cost a fisherman his life.

As a friend snapped photos from another boat, he leaned over the stern and provoked the four-metre monster to show its teeth. He was inches away from being eaten when it exploded from the water.

Nice Catch

The combination of women and fishing has something very appealing about it.

Maybe because we don't see many women fishermen? Not sure, but a good looking woman in a bikini holding a fish sells.

Weight Distribution

C'mon babe speed this up we're going to be late to dinner.

Just a fat lazy dude smoking a cigarette, almost sinking the boat. He makes his wife row the boat while he sits back and relaxes.

Full Speed Ahead

Dogs are one of the best things in the world, simple as that.

It is such a rewarding experience to have a dog as part of your family. Check out how happy this guy looks.

Swag

Damn Kyle, you better save some for the rest of us.

There is so much to unpack here. What's my guess? Early 2000s, late 1990s. I lean toward the latter based on the sunglasses and Monster Energy sticker.

Paddle Me Back

In recent years, stand up paddle boarding has become increasingly popular.

Yes, they're kneeling here but don't shoot the messenger. One selfie gives a gigantic perspective of a beautiful day on the lake for these two ladies.

No Man Left Behind

So excited to hit the open water they left their boy hanging.

Rule #1 - Head count. Make sure everyone you leave the dock with is accounted for. Poor guy in yellow is hanging on for dear life.

Monster Wave

Sydney deckhands captured an amazing image of a monster wave swamping the Manly ferry.

An image shows a crew member negotiating a tilting deck as a huge wall of water threatens to crash into the side of the ferry.

Black & White

Would you prefer a black bathing suit or a white bathing suit?

Would you like to see fewer pictures of good looking women in bikinis? No, we didn't think so either.

Cuteness Overload

This is a shar pei puppy steering the boat like a boss.

This pup is focused on the task. The one cause for concern I have here is the lack of a life jacket. Let's keep our puppies safe.

Unbalanced

Don't look at it. There's a mismatched bikini at the center of this case, and they divert your attention from that.

She may not have had the best fit with the top. In any case, the water looks calm, there is a slight breeze, so it's time for boating.

Jump Next Time

It would be better if you just jumped the next time, man!

This person was a bit hesitant to jump off of the boat, so they opted to slide off and give himself the world's biggest wedgie.

Speed Bump

It might seem like an innocent banana boat, but apparently its way more dangerous than one might think.

Hitting bumps on the water can be back-breaking. Unfortunately, no one told that kid to hang on tight.

Can I Park Here?

This might not have been the best spot to park your boat.

At least it's safe there, though, so that's something. There is no way anyone could steal it. 

Man Overboard

The woman in the red bikini didn't realize that the rope she was pulling on would lead to a man overboard.

Then again, you should always watch where you're walking on a boat! It was inevitable.

Who Me?

Did you say something to me, dad?

A dog's middle ear muscles are controlled by the same part of the brain that controls facial expressions. When a dog cocks his head to one side, he is trying to hear your words, understand what you are saying, and show you that he is paying attention.

Cool Boat

Someone might want to tell this guy that cars aren't made for the water.

Let's just hope the owner wasn't hoping to resurrect this SUV after it took a swim.

Odd Man Out

When his buddies wanted to spend a day on the lake, he felt like the odd man out since de didn't own a boat.

He decided to do something about it instead of sitting around and well, now he, too, can enjoy a day on the lake.

That's Not Right

If you look closely, you can see that there is another boat underneath the bigger one.

It looks like that was a pretty painful experience. The big speedboats need to cool off!

Top Heavy

It must have been a nightmare to clean up after this accident.

A cargo ship toppled over after they loaded it up with huge shipping containers. Obviously, they went past the ship's limit and suffered the consequences.

Motorboating

On the technical side of things, it used to be a boat at one time.

This guy tried to modify a regular, one-person boat into... this. I wonder if it worked on land, too. If so, he's way ahead of the curve.

This Seat Taken?

In the course of this speedboat joyride, a few things went wrong.

They ended up right smack in the middle of a dock. Not only is that pretty embarrassing, but it also looks costly!

Too Much Action

These fast boats are really popular with some folks.

Hopping over huge rifts in the water can be fun, too. Falling out of your boat and landing into the water mid-barrel-roll is probably not fun.

Look of Defeat

This poor soul did not think his day would end up with a capsized boat.

His body language exudes pure defeat. Look on the bright side buddy, tomorrow is a new day!

Scenic Route

"Hey, it's a beautiful day. Why not take the scenic route?"

Every dad ever. Let this be a lesson to us all - we should not take the scenic route, but rather the road less traveled!

Land Ho

Either this was on purpose, or someone really wasn't paying attention.

They must have been going pretty fast to have gotten that far up the hill.

Party Bus

There are so many questions about this photo that will never be answered,

One of the most important questions is: What is going on here? How did they get the bus on the water? How is that floating?

Bein' Dudes

It may look like this man is struggling, but he's actually just chilling.

This is the way his boat is supposed to look. He is truly one with nature this way.

Traffic Jam

Is there anything worse than traffic? Don't you just hate it?

The worst is when you're stuck in a tunnel and a boat that was not secured to a truck crashes into both lanes creating no way out. Just the worst.

Pump The Brakes

When the light turns yellow, you enter the "decision making" zone.

Sometimes, you speed up and zoom through. Other times, you hit the breaks to come to a swift stop. It seems like this person should have zoomed through.

Everything Is Fine

It's just a day on the water for these guys!

Well, in the water. Either way, they look comfortable and relaxed. Nothing to see here.

Tried His Best

This guy tried so hard to save the yacht from going under.

Sadly, his efforts were fruitless and he did not save the beloved vessel. That is the look of pure defeat. 

Olympic Tragedy

These Olympians had to hop off of their vessel when it capsized during a competition.

It's not the result they had hoped for, but they did their best to make it happen.

Classy

The classic pun is a favorite among fathers all over the world.

It was even parodied by Dwight in "The Office" when he said, "I'm just an average baiter.". My cousin Mose, there’s a master baiter.”

Fastest Boat In The World

Considering this is a racing sailboat, it’s a pretty clever name.

And if it’s as fast as the real Usain Bolt, it’s enough to strike fear into the hearts of its competitors.

Lesson Learned

That ship sinking would make boat owners humbler, wouldn't it?

What was the name of it again? Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio starred in a movie about it.

Drug Money

The boat's owner is a pharmacist, which explains its name.

It seems they thought the pun was funny enough to risk being stopped by the water patrol.

LOL

I can see what they were aiming for here.

The boat was their dream, and boats get wet, right? But yeah, it's a little gross. Gross, but funny.

Breaking Bass

This might be the name your dad gives his boat if he's a "Breaking Bad" fan.

Hopefully, he won't be cooking meth onboard the boat.

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The More You Know

  • A baby can cost new parents 750 hours of sleep.
  • Former billionaire Chuck Feeney has given away over 99% of his 6.3 billion dollars to help under privileged kids go to college. He is now worth $2 million dollars.
  • The "Like" button on Facebook was supposed to be the "Awesome" button.
  • Sony’s PlayStation 4 costs $381 to manufacture.

Post originally appeared on Upbeat News.